Jokes

Quasimodo returns to his tower, after a night out, where he finds the beautiful Esmeralda lying asleep.



Consumed by lust, he has his wicked way with her but afterwards is so wracked by guilt that he leaps out of his tower, into the river below.



Passers-by are astounded.

Then they hear the sound of a ghostly bell coming from deep in the river.

Then the haunted voice of Quasimodo.

He's singing.



They strain to make out just what he's singing.



Then they have it.









I'm ringing in the seine,

Just ringing in the Seine,

its a glorious evening and I'm tolling again

:getmecoat:

:getmecoat:

Should that not be a straightjacket 😂

If you thought that was bad, 

How about---

Quasimodo and Esmeralda had been out on the ale and returned to his tower completely blotto.

As as happened to many couples, before and since, they had sex, then fell asleep.

Esmerelda is the first to awaken.
She rememberswhat she did and after looking at Quasimodo, she is revolted.
She rushes out of his room and finds herself in the kitchen wher a very large pan of custard is being prepared.

She grasps the pan, runs into Quasimodo's room and hurls the custard over him.

He awakens.

What have you done he screams.

I've thrown a pan of hot custard over you, you filthy beast.

Quasimodo smiles.
Thank the lord for that, says he.


I thought me hump had burst.

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3 am in the morning and it's bloomin' well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..😂🤣😂

Why not revert to the 'Old Board' format and have a 'jokes Thread'?

I couldn’t rember what that thread was called Poly - I’ll take your advice.

Black guy goes to the doctor and tell him " everytime I make love to a white woman my eyes sting"

Doctor replies " that will be to pepper spray"